Bad Bread

’tis the season of zucchini. If you aren’t drowning in your own harvest, you’ve probably been offered some from a kind neighbor or coworker.

This weekend I shredded one giant club of a squash. It took about 25 minutes, using a salad shooter. I have a feeling that it might have gone faster by hand, but I was imagining a sore arm, and I wimped out.  The strips of green and white were divided into several Ziplock bags and tossed into the freezer.

There were three more in my refrigerator drawer, so I had to do some brainstorming.

Zucchini bread has been a popular use for overgrown squashes, but I was trying to avoid the high sugar content that you find in most quick breads. The internet provided a recipe for one that called for “only” one cup of sugar. The addition of blueberries won me over, so I scribbled down the recipe.  When I went over to the kitchen, though, I remembered that I had a mix for Bacon & Cheddar Beer Bread.

aldi bread mix

“Perhaps stirring the zucchini in with that would be interesting,” I thought, “and it wouldn’t have so much sugar!”  However, sometimes, for me, “thinking” can be dangerous. After opening the box, I realized that I was supposed to add a can of beer. The closest substitute in my fridge was ginger ale…”Why not?”

So I cut open the plastic bags and poured the powder into the metal bowl. The click and fizz of the pop sounded promising as I opened the can. The pale powder bubbled, and it’s hue deepened to a bright pumpkin color as I stirred.


“Double, double, toil and …” the word “trouble” might have flitted through my head, but I didn’t give it any attention. My green zucchini easily folded in to the batter. The soon-to-be loaf slid into the oven.

50 minutes later, my bread was ready. The testing knife slid in and out of the center, clean. On the box, the instructions said to let the bread cool 10 minutes, so I obediently waited. Once it cooled slicing it still wasn’t easy, even with a serrated bread knife. The crumb looked all right, but the texture was just wrong: rubbery.

It was past time to leave for work, so I wrapped the loaf in a kitchen towel and headed out the door. It is a good thing I didn’t promise any treats at the office.

This evening I sliced off another piece. After several minutes toasting in the oven, it still wasn’t any good.

Categories: Food and drink | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Bad Bread

  1. hahahahaha You’re very adventurous with your cooking! lol add zucchini? Why not? Change beer to ginger ale? What harm can that do??? lol

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